Where is Peter?

Some may have noticed I haven't been in the bar this week - ask one of the girls and you will get anything that springs to mind: "Gone back to his country, on holiday, not well".

Well, the truth is I'm in Hospital.

On Tuesday I was suffering from acute and incredible indigestion which was so gassy that it was causing chest pain. Anna insisted on taking me across the road to Pattaya Memorial - all the time with me sobbing that all I needed was a fart.

The staff at Memorial checked me over gave me loads of shots and arranged for one of Bangkok Pattaya's super mobile CCU and there I was, complete with sirens blaring on my way to BP hospital.

I was rapidly turned into a pin cushion and covered with electrodes - all of which confirmed a Heart Attack.

"This doesn't happen to me! I'm not some over weight boozer living on Fast Food, Alchol and Fags, who never excercises. Nor do I ever get stressed! "

Actually, a minutes reflection showed that this was a pretty accurate description.

Anyway ... I woke up to two hours on a robotised hospital bed with a huge sensing head zooming up and around all over the place. Occasionally I could see on the monitors. They were trying to open up the blocked arteries feeding my heart muscles. They had made an incision in my groin and were pushing tubes up the artery to the blockages.

I've always said that Thai Girls know that the fastest way to a guy's heart is through his groin (European girls believe it's through their stomach) - the evidence was there!

At least four blockages - one very old, one they managed to repair (which is why I'm writing this) and two left that they gave up on.

So where am I? Sitting in my Hospital room, feeling fine (but a trifle nervous) awaiting a triple (or even quadruple) heart bypass operation tomorrow morning.

Prognosis is good for everything except our bank balance! I doubt I'll be able to update you for about 5 days.

In the meantime, if you are in Pattaya, then do please pop in and see Anna. She is very nervous - worried her nagging has sent me to an early grave!

Cheer her up will you, for me please?